If I could fall into the sky
by Jing Mei Chen
Summary: Rory's grandfather dies


"Who in their right mind would call me at this un-godly hour?" Lorelai  
grumbled."Hello?"  
  
That was how Rory told the story, waking up to her mother's  
frantic cries.  
  
"Rory! Oh god, RORY!" her hysterical tears, the stampeding   
of her feet as she raced down the staircase,"RORY!"  
  
"Mom?" the teenager rubbed her eyes  
  
Tears streamed down Lorelai's face as she shakingly attempted to throw a  
coat over her pajamas."Oh no, oh god"  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Your grandpa...he's"  
  
"MOM!" her voice was frantic,"You can't just wake me up and .." a sick  
pressure built up in her chest, making Rory wish she could scream.  
  
"We need to get to the hospital" was all Lorelai could say.  
***********************************  
Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
************************************  
Luke concentrated on the screeching of the tires that passed  
his apartment window."Lorelai's" he muttered  
  
"What?" Jess called  
  
"Nothin'" Luke answered, his eyes wide open,"It's nothin'"  
***********************************  
Faces passed  
And I'm home bound  
***********************************  
They ran down a long poorily lit corridor, hearts racing  
  
That was how Rory told the story. Feeling that pit in her stomach when  
she realized why they were there. And no laughter could make  
this go away.  
  
"Grandma!" Rory yelled, racing behind her mother  
  
A doctor pulled Lorelai aside and whispered.Rory watched her mother  
fall into a chair, holding her face in her hands.  
  
Rory watched her grandmother take her grandfather's hand, tears  
racing down the old woman's cheeks.  
  
Behind her, the doctor kneeled down in front of Lorelai,patting her  
back akwardly as she cried.Loud hysterical tears.  
*************************************  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making my way  
Through the crowd  
**************************************  
There's something to be said for schedule. Wake up, wake Jess up, get dressed.  
Luke had his daily ritual. Baseball hat, look around, leave apartment. Get to  
diner.  
  
Everything had a place, a place for everything. She'd come in at 6. Then   
at 9.  
  
He looked up at the clock, down at the door.  
  
"Luke?" Sookie stood in the door of the diner, her eyes  
blood shot and red.  
  
"Sookie?" he ran out to the door.Luke stopped."Sookie?"  
  
She stood in the doorway, Luke's figure shadowed by the sun.  
  
"Tell Jess.."  
  
She nodded  
  
"I'll be.."  
  
"Just go Luke" Sookie's voice was quiet,"She needs you"  
*********************************  
And I need you  
*********************************  
They sat side by side.Each silently , occasionally sniffling, or quietly  
crying into their hands.  
  
He's dead. He's dead.  
  
The nurses came occasionally. They touched Rory's shoulder and muttered  
something.  
  
We're sorry of your loss.  
  
"Let me talk to your mom" Christopher's voice broke up the silence   
between father and daughter over the phone.  
  
Rory handed Lorelai the phone. Closing her mother's fingers around the object.   
Lorelai nodded, her eyes shiny and wet."No, I know. She knew " she'd repeat  
quietly.  
  
Like Rory couldn't hear.  
**********************************  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....  
***********************************  
Someone pressed a small black phone book into Rory's hand and walked away.  
  
She made phone call after phone call. She looked up at the clock, bought  
coffee,which sat at her mother and grandmother's side untouched, and  
made more phone calls.  
  
  
The more phone calls, the more people who came.  
  
  
They came in suits, smelling musty and clean, like they'd hidden in a library,  
just like her grandfather. They crowded,fake smiliy, on their way to work.   
Rory stood behind her mother's chair, watching her grandmother get passed from  
person to person.  
  
Into stranger's arms who held her and said the same things as she cried  
  
  
"We're so sorry. He was a good man"  
  
  
They nodded towards Lorelai. And then the room was quiet again.  
  
  
"Hey" a hand touched Rory's shoulder,reaching over her and taking the   
phone from her."I hate these things.Have you eaten?"  
  
  
"I'm fine Luke" his eyes were so gentle then. Rory winced at the sound of  
her tired, worn voice.  
  
"You need a break" he followed her eyes. She was watching Lorelai and   
Emily."They'll keep"  
  
"L..Luke?" Lorelai's voice sounded like sobs when she spoke,"Is that you?"  
  
Luke turned his head, an eye on Rory,"Have you eaten?"  
  
The woman ran into his arms, crying into his chest. Luke patted her back  
akwardly."It'll be alright" he said quietly,"I promise"  
****************************************  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
*****************************************  
Rory called the funeral home. She called the florist. Jaw clenched  
she went through her grandfather's suits, looking for the right one.  
  
She fell back into his oversized chair, shaking.  
  
Too much to do, too little time to cry.  
****************************************  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could   
Just see you  
Tonight  
****************************************  
Her mother wouldn't touch food. Luke came by everyday. Dean lurked in  
the shadows.  
  
"I can't!" Lorelai screamed,"I JUST CAN'T!! How do you expect me to FUNCTION  
when my father's been dead for 2 days??"  
  
Rory stepped back, jaw clenched.  
  
"It's alright" Luke replied, heading up the stairs after Lorelai,"She   
didn't mean it"  
  
Rory just nodded.  
***************************************  
It's always times like these  
When I think of you  
***************************************  
She saw Dean once.He stood at the front door, clutching flowers,  
muttering something.  
  
I'm sorry about your grandfather.  
  
Rory had no time. No time for sleep,no time for food. The car radio  
irritated her. Smiling people bugged her.  
  
Deep deep down inside, she held onto a scream.Scream and tears.  
*************************************  
And I wonder  
If you ever   
Think of me  
***************************************  
"Have you eaten,Rory?" Emily's voice was fragile. She finally sounded old  
and tired."You look horrible.Your grandfather would be worried"  
  
"I'm fine Grandma" she answered, avoiding her grandmother's eyes."The  
car's coming at noon, the service is at one, and your outfit is at the  
cleaners.Did I miss anything?"  
  
Emily Gilmore shook her head."He was so proud of you, Rory"  
  
Rory walked out of the room.Three days was too soon. Too soon for the  
praise she never heard herself come out of her grandfather's mouth.  
It was too soon.  
***********************************  
'Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong  
Living in your  
Precious memories  
************************************  
She could count how many times she had seen the sun rise and fall each day.  
Count the days on her fingers. She stayed up all night rubbing her mom's  
back, listening to her cry.  
  
Soothing her.   
**********************************  
'Cause I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....  
**********************************  
She caught his shadow by accident. Lorelai screamed, falling apart at the  
foot of the stairs, her clothes in scrunched in her hands.  
  
"Dean?"  
  
He gave a sad smile.  
  
Rory blushed,"You shouldn't be here"  
  
"Need a hand?" Dean pushed the screen door open.  
  
Rory stepped back from her mom, closing her eyes.  
  
"Come on Lorelai" Dean unfurled her hands from the shirt,"You need to get dressed"  
his hands shook,"You need to strong for Rory"  
  
He looked up at her.  
  
Rory looked away, her body shaking.  
  
"I can't..I can't. I never said I was sorry to my dad. I never told him, I can't"  
She cried.  
  
Dean nodded, moving a piece of hair out of the woman's eyes."Is Luke coming?"  
  
Rory nodded.She watched him lead her mom to the couch, cover her with a blanket.  
"Did you eat?"  
  
That was question was almost as frustrating as everyone muttering something  
about the man she barely knew. Like it hurt her that he was gone. It didn't  
hurt. It terrified her.  
********************************  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could   
Just see you  
Tonight  
*********************************  
That was how Rory told the story. The whole world fuzzing up, turning  
gray, her cheeks burning, legs shaking, the scream in her chest bubbling  
into her throat.  
  
Dean holding her face to his chest, muffling the cries."Sshh, come on"  
he lead her to the car,"We're almost there, Rory"  
  
She let him lay her in the seat, closed the door behind her. Rory hugged  
her knees, crying.  
  
Crying the fear away.  
  
"Let it out" Dean said quietly, pulling away from the cemetry."Let it out  
Rory"  
  
Letting the scream out. Her throat grew raw, but she kept screaming,  
screaming the fear away with her tears.  
  
He pulled into the driveway of the house, and held her.  
  
"I miss him"   
  
Dean smoothed her hair,"You need to sleep.Come on.."  
  
"I miss him Dean"  
  
He nodded, "I know"  
  
"I miss him alot"  
***************************************  
Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces passed  
And I'm home bound  
***************************************  
Luke stood behind Lorelai's chair, following her stare. Staring at the  
hole where the coffin lay.  
  
"He's gone"  
  
"He is"  
  
"It's over"  
  
"For now"  
  
"Oh god" she sighed.  
  
Luke held out his hand."Come on. Dean took Rory home"  
  
Lorelai nodded."Oh no.." she kicked off her heels, running towards Luke's  
car.  
******************************************  
  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making my way  
Through the crowd  
*******************************************  
"RORY!" she called, running through the house.  
  
Dean kissed her forehead, and got up quietly off the bed. He moved aside,  
letting Lorelai pass him.  
  
"I'm sorry" Rory's tear streaked face peeked out from under the blankets.  
  
"It's fine Mom"  
  
Lorelai climbed onto the bed,holding Rory in her arms."I..I'm sorry"  
She held her daughtet close to her as Rory cried. 


End file.
